I’m sure by now all of you have seen one of these posts, right? The #LoveYourSpouse Challenge? Where your friend is going to post pictures of them and their spouse for seven days to support love and marriage.
First of all…there is a good chance that either:
1) you have been annoyed by such #LoveYourSpouse posts, or
2) been dreading that someone is going to tag you, and you feel obligated to partake in the #LoveYourSpouse challenge by posting your own seven days of pictures.
You could, like most, could ignore the tag and post no such pictures. Meanwhile you would also blow on by the incessant amount of these posts that fill your new feed featuring happy couples. Because let’s be honest, who wants to admit that marriage is always happy. No one….because it isn’t!
And who are you to only show photos that feature the shining happy amazing part of your marriage, or liking such said photos? Blasphemy!! Right? Because that’s not what Facebook is about……
Right? Because that wouldn’t be the drama that we want from Facebook. We want the fights, and anger, and all out unhappiness of what a true marriage can be!
Or maybe we don’t. And that’s why this #LoveYourSpouse challenge has been a reminder in some of our marriages and therefore helps us keep our bond strong. We are able to work through some of the heartache we all feel in our day to day lives.
Nobody has it easy right? We all have stuff we are going through. So when one of our friends is posting about how great their life is (let’s be honest nobody has a perfect life…get that out of your head) and how much they love their husband or wife, we maybe get a twinge of jealously.
It’s normal, it’s cool. Don’t think you are the only one that feels inadequate. Because that’s life! The grass is always greener on the other side!! Except we don’t see the watering and care that goes into that landscaping, only the finished product. So it looks unattainable. But it’s not!!!
My husband and I…we have been through some rough times. We have fought, and cried, and yelled, and not even said a word to each other. Because we live in my eyes, a ‘real’ marriage. Where you love someone so much you almost hate them, but can’t imagine being with anyone else…..ever. It’s normal. No one lives a fairytale.
Maybe you don’t cry, or you don’t yell…maybe you talk it to death or throw things out onto the lawn – who cares! Point is, we all are in a boat with someone else. It’s not how you get there that really matters, it’s that you got to shore together!!!
Maybe that’s why I liked the idea of the #LoveYourSpouse challenge. Because for once I focused on the good; instead of all the other nonsense that fills up our days. For that brief moment in time, going back through pictures of just him and I, that I found myself again in our marriage.
At those times, in those pictures, I wasn’t thinking about a fight we had that morning, or the heartaches we were facing at that time. No, in those pictures all I was seeing was him and I, and the happiness that he brings to me each day.
First of all, I’m not going to sugar coat it. Our world is not rainbows and butterflies like I always want it to be. But to me, those photos reminded me of how happy I am to have found him, and how much I care for him.
Those seven pictures bring hope of our future, our present, and love for our past. Nothing is ever perfect, but who says love has to be???
Also, I shared those photos with the intent to instill in me the love and admiration I have for my spouse, and hopefully in them as well. I didn’t do it to pretend that our life is perfect, or better than anyone else’s. Nor was I posting those pictures to make others jealous, or to inflict pain. Truly, I did it for me. As a gentle nudge to appreciate the person I married, to show them how much I care for them, and to continue to appreciate them every day, regardless of our situation.
Yes, sometimes I might need someone else to tell me to do that in my life. I may not always offer up my affection towards my spouse, but when someone else calls me out on it, I might take a step back and realize I’ve been taking them for granted.
And for those of you upset of angered by the #LoveYourSpouse challenge, please give up the grudge. Take down your walls, your anger, and your resentment. Remember why you got married in the first place. It wasn’t about anybody else. It was about the love you felt towards them, and if you still feel it, find someway to show it.
We are all in such a damn hurry now a days, we forget to stop and take time to nurture our relationships. Show someone you care!! Regardless of a challenge or not, sometimes we need to stop and settle ourselves to reevaluate what matters.
Kids, family, work, other obligations…we all have something pulling us away from our home life. At the end of the day though, we all go home to someone. And that’s what this is about. Showing appreciation to them, that they truly matter to us, and that we love them with our whole hearts.
Don’t they deserve that? Don’t we deserve that? For once to see the beauty in our vows, and the life we made with each other? It’s not going to be every thing we ever dreamed, and sometimes it’s going to be a nightmare. But through thick and thin, we stand with each other, and go on each day with meaningful purpose.
So for reals…stop throwing shade towards the #LoveYourSpouse challenge. Suck up your pride…your past issues. Most of all, look inside your heart and think about why you got married and show that person what they truly mean to you. One day, seven days…however many days you want. As long as you decide that your marriage and spouse is something you love, there is no regret to partaking in the challenge.
And who knows maybe it’s exactly what they needed to get them on board to reinforce the love they have for you and your marriage!!